Lightsaber sound effects, nanotechnology, built-in reproductive capabilities. The Onion has the details.
(via Barb Bowman)
Special bonus snark: How Steve’s Reality Distortion Field has become contaminated!
Everything you need to know about the iPhone
Published
Ed Bott 
That was fun … but some of you people higher up in the comments have a serious jealousy problem. The lady doth protest too much. The only reason to be so hateful is because you’re reacting emotionally, not logically — and what reason do you have to hate the iPhone? It’s a product. Products have pluses and minuses. This product you don’t even own yourself. If you can’t handle an aggressive sales pitch, do everyone a favor: take a deep breath and calm down.