Yes, yes, of course I plan to watch the Oscars tonight. (And will I get in trouble because I used the word without putting TM after it?) I hope Chris Rock can pull it off on a network where his comedic range (not to mention his vocabulary) has to be seriously constrained.
But this – this is the award show I wish I would have seen instead.
George Bush, Halle Berry Share Worst Film Honors
George W. Bush won the “Razzie” worst actor of the year award on Saturday for his performance as president in “Fahrenheit 9/11” but his moment in Hollywood’s dubious spotlight was eclipsed by Halle Berry, who actually turned up to receive her embarrassing accolade.
Berry was named worst actress of 2004 by the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation for her performance in “Catwoman” and she showed up to accept her “Razzie” carrying the Oscar she won in 2002 for “Monster’s Ball.”
“They can’t take this away from me, it’s got my name on it!” she quipped. A raucous crowd cheered her on as she gave a stirring recreation of her Academy Award acceptance speech, including tears.
She thanked everyone involved in “Catwoman,” a film she said took her from the top of her profession to the bottom.
“I want to thank Warner Brothers for casting me in this piece of s—,” she said as she dragged her agent on stage and warned him “next time read the script first.”
It is rare for a Razzie winner to show up at the spoof awards held on the night before Oscars (news – web sites) — but Berry did, saying her mother taught her that to be “a good winner you had to be a good loser first.” She received a standing ovation.
Heh. There was more honesty in that two-minute speech than you’ll hear in tonight’s four-hour extravaganza.
Britney Spears won an award as well, but didn’t show up to accept it.
Ed Bott 
Her Oscar was one of the least deserved, but the last several years have produced some of the weakest run of movies in my lifetime. In “Monster’s Ball,” we’re supposed to believe that Halle Berry, who is dropdead gorgeous, lives in a small southern town and after her husband is executed falls in love with the jurassic, bony hick, Billy Bob? Not in a million years. She finally got naked on screen (which I wildly applaud), and promptly won an Oscar.
On a dare, I watched “Gigli” because everyone said it was so bad. I don’t think I ever took my finger off the fast-forward button the whole time. Still, kudos to Berry for having a sense of humor and understanding that you’re only as good as your last role.